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Being Present In Your Relationship

Updated: Jun 19, 2021


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“Me…Can you focus on, me? Baby, can you focus…on me?” ~H.E.R.~

Ooh baby…when I tell you there is nothing more lonely then being in a relationship with someone who finds interest in everything and everyone else around them, except you!! 👀 😩


They’re either playing a game on their phone, texting everybody except God, checking emails, watching a sports game or their favorite show, talking to their best friend for HOURS(not that any of this is the issue, but I’ll explain later). Doing just about everything, except for spending quality time with…well, you 🤷🏾‍♀️🥺


When moments like this occur in your relationship, that tells me that there’s a disconnect somewhere. Effective communication is lacking, and I say “effective“ because even if you’re not having a clear verbal discussion of what the breakdown is, what is being communicated through body language and the lack of verbal communication is, your significant other just isn’t that into you, and THAT my friends, could be a complete miscue.

I have a solution to kill ALL’LAT NOISE…


Put your phones down, turn off your technology, and disconnect from the outside world for a while. Take that time to be intimate. Noooo I’m not saying spread eagle and give each other the business LOL(even though it could ease the tension a lil bit 😜), but just talk to one another. Engage in touch. Gaze into each other’s eyes while being flirtatious. Cook a meal with one another. For us parents, date with zero distractions a.k.a CHILDREN 🤣🤣.


There’s nothing more annoying than you trying to have an intimate moment with your “bae”, and they’re in their damn phone 😐🙄😒 TURN IT OFF!!! Text messages, social media AND your momma, will be there tomorrow. They’re not gonna disappear just because you turned your phone off.

Some of you haven’t played “Hide N Seek” as children, to learn that lesson, and it shows 👀🤣🤣


The world will be there when you return, but I tell you one person who won’t be there any longer, if you continue to disregard their presence and prioritize nonsense over your relationship!



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Look…I’m not saying abandon all recreational things that you enjoy doing. But, the least you can do is make your significant other your recreational playmate. This is something I had to come to understand, while sitting down with a marriage counselor. So trust me, I know what I speak of because I’ve had to practice this in my own marriage. 19+ years later and we’re still rockin 😉

Fellas, if your lady is into mushy, drama shows/movies, sit down next to her and engage in touch, while watching it with her. I’m not saying you have to be all into the thang LOL, but be into your woman and what she finds interest in recreationally. Don’t walk into the room complaining about what she’s watching, then immediately hop on your phone and have zero interaction or form of intimacy with your lady. That’s a big no no!

Ladies, if your man likes playing his video games after work for a lil while LET HIM!!! Don’t complain sis. You can either join him on the couch (hold the annoying ass questions please 👀🤣) or fix him his favorite meal and drink in the process.

Bottom Line…

  1. Effectively CommunIcate

  2. Make time for intimacy

  3. Be each other’s recreational playmate and PEACE!!!!


Be present as opposed to just occupying space. There’s no sense in having someone to call your own, if you’re more lonely with them, than you were without them 🤷🏾‍♀️

Till Next Time…


“Change Your Habits = Change Your Life”

~DollyTheeCoach ~






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